School, Nelson Mandela, Today...

Ok, so I am beginning to realize that good things are worth fighting for. Madame Schwegler told me to fight for those good things, and this semester is gonna see a lot of my fists, or, actions emulating fists.

Today, began school, I sat in a classroom again, bewildered as I looked around and found myself in the middle of being disoriented to be back. So, I went to the library and checked out two books, one is Nelson Mandela's autobiography. Mandela was president of the African National Congress and won a Nobel Peace Prize, and much more...but I do not know all that much about him so I began to read his auto. I found a section that touched me and touched on how I feel to be back and how I have felt and have not been able to articulate all that clearly, he speaks of a different place, but move past that...

Pg. 84-85:
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. The great place went on as before, no different from when I had grown up there. But I realized that my own outlook and worldviews had evolved.

I still felt an inner conflict between my head and my heart. My heart told me that I was a Thembu, that I had been raised and sent to school so that I could play a special role in perpetuatung the kingship...

..In my language there is a saying: Ndiwelimilambo enamagama(I have crossed famous rivers). It means that one has travelled a great distance, that one has has wide experience and gained some wisdom from it...But I had many rivers yet to cross..."


So, I concur with Mr. Mandela, and I am blessed to be able to share how I feel in this space, and with close friends. Tonight I met up again with some of those close friends and I just felt open and like I could be real about even the bitterness I still feel about being back sometimes.

I see a lot of what would be called "problems" in my life and family right now and I just reiterate how much I love you mom and am behind you in every way I can be. As for me, I am trying to find the balance of the above feelings, and new mindset with all of the amazing wonderful things and people I have in my life. I will now eat some popcorn, and will wrap some blankets around me. =)