Ahh.

Ok, so in a way it is really healing to have an empty space to write in. For some reason it is even more so than opening a blank journal. I really don't know why, I only know that not writing on here when I want to is weird...

I travelled around, and now here I am, back at home. So, for a while I did not even want to write, because I felt like I went from mega exploring woman to daily task singleton in Sacramento. I get it, we are who we make ourselves to be, and I sure as heck know I judge myself pretty strictly...but wow this coming back and trying to fit back into my old spot thing is really bizarre. I thought there I was the silly American woman, and now I am back and I am going through the motions, but it is a slow ease back...if I could say it is easing.

I have noticed my mood is really off, and I miss so many things...I am here again though, and I have so much that I am sprinting towards with graduation looming. I just appreciate non judgemental love and support right now, because believe me, me myself and I do plenty of judging.

I sort or feel like saying "crap crap crap" repeatedly to express in my head how I am untangling my thoughts about my future and about the state of the world, and about my car, and life, and blah diddee blah blah.

Ok, writing was good, very good.